Bump

As Stephanie Hubach (author of Same Lake, Different Boat) says, we all bump up against the effects of the Fall in our lives through sin, sickness, natural disaster, etc. The family with disability just experiences those bumps more often and/or with greater intensity than usual. I was reminded of that this week. William is making such great progress; his schooling for next year is coming together, and yet we definitely felt some bumps:

-I go to observe the school district program and observe that the lowest functioning child in that class is far beyond William- following complex directions, reading sight words, typing. We're not even planning on sending William there, but it was still an emotional conversation for me to discuss the challenges of that setting for William with the principal. "There isn't any other class?" "No, but he wouldn't stick out." I'm not worried about him sticking out; I just thought that in the special ed class, he'd be on par with some of his peers. Bump.

-A wind storm wakes up lily one night. We have a sweet conversation about how Jesus is watching over her ("And Jesus is watching over Bubbie, and Jesus is watching over you, and Jesus is watching over Daddy, and Jesus is watching over Bingley, and Jesus is watching over Baby Abigail!") A couple hours later, William wakes up crying. We don't know if it's from a bad dream or the storm. The only thing we can do to calm him is hold him- the words and their truths aren't comforting. When he goes back to bed, he pulls the blanket over his head. Bump.

-William gets ready to go outside one afternoon. As he heads out the door, I notice that his boots are on the wrong feet and he's walking funny. "Boots ouchie?" I ask. He looks at me hard. He knows both those words, but he's never heard them together before. "Boots ouchie?" he repeats questioningly. "You ok?" I ask. "You ok?" he says back confused. He looks like he thinks he's in trouble. I decide to drop it. "See ya later!" I say with a wave. "See ya later!" he replies and turns to play- still walking funny. Bump.

-William's tutor is all excited that he can hand her common objects from a set of five. I should be excited, but- maybe because I'm tired, maybe because of my observation at the school district class- instead I feel the gap between us and typical development. Bump.

-Lily decides to share her candy from her Easter egg hunt at school with William on the way home in the van. "Say more, Bubbie," she instructs him. "Say more," he replies. Bump.

The miracle of the resurrection brings special comfort in times like that. And I'm reminded of William's greatest need- to have a new heart as well as a new body.