Special Sibs

Lily and Abigail don't know it yet, but they are part of a group of kids called "special siblings," siblings of children with special needs.

I became very aware of this at the end of the school year when Lily got very excited that she would have her preschool class for two days that William wouldn't. I shouldn't have been surprised. Every day of the week last year, Monday through Friday, William had some activity Lily didn't have- speech, OT, tutoring. These activities were hard work for William, but to Lily they looked like fun. He got special attention and special praise for his efforts.

I wasn't really surprised, but it did scare me. I don't know much about special sibs, but I know enough to know that rivalry is a major issue. It seems like siblings will usually come to accept their brother or sister with special needs, but often the bitterness towards the parents and hurt from being neglected remains into adulthood.

So I determined to make this summer one of inclusion. Thanks to a new Siblings Splash program, Lily is allowed to come to swimming lessons with William. She can't come to Safety Town of course, but I did go so far as to sign her up for OT camp. And I also decided to try out a summer dance program at a local studio so she has an experience outside the special needs world.

We went this week to buy her dance outfit. She wanted the one with the long skirt attached because it spins. She was so excited to try it on when we got home. She twirled around and giggled. (I wish I could get the video to work for you all; at the end she almost crashed into the tv. Yep, we need dance lessons!) Then she said, "I wish Bubbie could go to dance class with me." I still think it's good for her to have her own activity, but I'm so glad that's how she feels. Here she is posing by Abigail, her adoring audience.